Inking
by JeiC
Summary: Partial boredom, partial curiosity, and a desire to keep going keeps my pen in motion.


Disclaimer: Dun own Kingdom Hearts. I just write stories for fun.  
Warnings: mild angst

**Inking**

by JeiC

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Scribbling random doodles in sketchbook, I laugh slightly at myself for having picked up the habit from Namine. Before I had hidden my eyes, she encouraged me to draw…somehow, she knew it would help calm my anxiety while Sora slept. Even after I tied the blindfold, I had pages of drawings, though a lot more messy with good reason.

Sometimes I go back and flip through them. To anyone else they wouldn't make sense, but the inked sketches showed my various emotions throughout that second year away and my progression through that portion of my life. Now…even after coming home, it's something that has stayed with me. It has helped me in a way, that the others couldn't, to transition back to this way of life.

I'd be a fool if I said that everything was fine, but at least I feel like I'm headed in the right direction. I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm certainly a lot more at ease now then I had been when I first came back.

Filling up today's page with random doodles, the itch to keep my pen going has me looking around for something else to draw on…I set up my sketchbook to only draw on one page a day and they're already dated. There's the paper in my printer that I could snitch from, but I already know I'm running low and I'll need to print out several reports for school over the next few weeks. Doodling in my notebooks would only raise suspicion and worry.

My eyes pass over another option that I could easy wash away. Sliding my armband off, I slowly trace the partial Heartless symbol that had been hidden beneath it, on the inside of my wrist, with a finger. I've kept this source of my shame hidden from the world…not even Sora or Kairi know about it.

Finding a spot to start on the outside of the stylized heart, I begin weaving intricate lines around it, eventually moving completely around my wrist before moving down my hand…avoiding the open area inside the outlined design.

I keep it hidden for a few different reasons. First of all, it looks like a tattoo and the last thing I need is to get in trouble for having something that resembles one. Needless to say, it makes it interesting trying to get people to leave me alone about my armband. The school nurse nearly had a fit when I wouldn't take it off…she kept asking me if I was cutting myself. Well, I guess given my somewhat more subdued personality, I could fit within the stereotype.

Second, I don't think my friends would understand. They think that I'm free of the darkness that resides in my heart. The truth is, it's still there, just sleeping for now. Lately I've felt it starting to stir again and certain abilities that were lost to me before have been slowly coming back. I never did lose all my dark power when I wasn't able to open a portal – how else would I have been able to create shields and unleash jolts of dark power in those last few battles with Xemnas?

Third, it's a reminder to myself of the mistakes I've made and I'm pretty sure that my memories do a good enough job of that – keeping me up most nights.

Shaking my head, I switch to drawing up my arm, following the same aimless artwork I had been working on. I have to have been at this for at least a couple of hours…I'm sure if my parents saw this, they'd freak out. Putting my pen down for a moment, I wonder how much ink I wasted drawing on my arm.

"Riku?"

Jumping, I turn to find an uncharacteristically shy and nervous Sora standing in my doorway with his hand on the knob. Hiding my left arm from view, I inform him, "You could knock, you know…"

"Um…I did, but you didn't answer," not bothering to wait for my invitation, the spiky-haired boy lets himself in, closing the door behind him, "I met your parents on their way out. They said they wouldn't be back until very late and for me to pass that on to you."

"Oh, thanks…" Geez, had I been that intent on what I was doing that I could miss the tornado that was Sora pounding on my door? "Hey!"

Grabbing my arm where I hadn't drawn anything, my best friend looks over what I had been doing for who knows how long. "What's this?"

My defensiveness kicks in, "I was bored, okay?"

"Right…" Looking at it more closely, Sora continues, "I like it – you should take a picture." Turning my arm over, I cringe as I notice his attention focus on my wrist, "Riku, why'd you draw that?" he asks, pointing at the partial Heartless symbol.

Looking away and at the floor, I admit, "I didn't. That's a mark I have from the darkness."

"Oh…" the silence between us is heavy. "So, do you think you could draw something cool like this on me?"

Rolling my eyes, I get up to head towards the bathroom to wash it off, "Don't you need help on your homework or something?"

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Fin  
August 2007  
by JeiC  
---  
Author's notes: Yay for having to write things on my hand at work…yes, weird source of inspiration. Prompt time…

**For:** 20heartbeats  
**Claim:** Riku  
**Prompt:** Ink (#9)


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